you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
