i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So. Much. Porn.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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