I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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