I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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