Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
