My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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