so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize