i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
