around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
