i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
