No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
