But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
