Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
