so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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