I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
