Pappa wants mamma naked
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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