I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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