I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
