I'm gonna have a badass scar
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
