Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize