oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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