I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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