I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
