Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't make out with my wife yet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
