Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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