Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
