I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
