I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
