This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize