I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
