Kiss
Puke
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize