this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize