I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
