he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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