just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
