I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
