her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
