I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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