Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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