Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
