dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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