I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
