I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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