So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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