those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
