Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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