Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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