All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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