I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's Friday. Sex?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
