Umm I'm too high to move.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
