New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we're making bets on your personal life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
