she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Help. Why am I so naked?
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