I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
