? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
