We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
