Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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