He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
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Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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