you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The beer is more important than you right now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
