I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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